Life can be confusing. It can throw curve balls. But, you learn from your mistakes and you move on. Sometimes I wish people would’ve told me this before I became an adult, and for those who are reading as an adult, you can relate to what I’m sayin’ (hopefully). Either way, I love being a woman or I wouldn’t change a thing about my life (Maybe my obsession for Pizza because it ain’t helping me lose weight).
1. You don't have to grow up too fast.
Just because you’re in your twenties doesn’t mean you have to act like a “responsible adult” all the time. Let your inner child out. You still have 15 to 20 years until your 40.
2. Take your time.
It’s okay to take your time when it comes to relationships. People over think that they HAVE to get married and have kids by a certain age, but in reality, you should take your time to find who you really are.
3. You're figuring it out.
Don’t freak out that you don’t have your life together (yet). It’s just the beginning and you’ll figure out what you want and don’t want along the way. Heck, I talked to people in their 40’s and they still say, “I’m trying to figure it out.”
4. Don't rush into it.
Don’t Sleep with a guy when you meet them, unless you want it to be a one night stand. You gotta play hard to get, you know? People want what they can’t have.
5. Make unforgettable memories.
Don’t worry about the money. It will come. Spend your disposable income on experiences because one day, you’ll look back at it and reminisce your 20’s.
6. Follow your heart.
Listen to your heart and intuition. If you have a bad feeling about something, your heart is probably right.
7. What about words?
Be conscious of what you think and say.
8. Millennial problems.
Get off social media after 10:00pm. You stare at your phone thinking I’ll just be on it for 5 minutes, then next thing you know it’s 1:00am and you’re super groggy in the morning (We are all guilty of this).
9. Netflixin' is alright sometimes.
Don’t feel like you’re missing out if you don’t go to an event. As twenty-something year olds, we often think that we have to go out (All the time). It is okay to stay in and chill once in a while. Your friends will be there and there will ALWAYS be new events tomorrow.
10. Travel often.
Travel, even if it is by yourself or with friends. Fear is your biggest enemy! We often think that traveling alone is weird, or you say to yourself, “I want to work hard to be successful one day.” Well, do you want to travel when you retire? You’ll never be able to make ridiculous, scandalous, ludicrous memories like you would in your 20’s
11. What is "Dick-Sand?"
Don’t fall into that “Dick-Sand.” What is that? If you haven’t watched the movie, “How To Be Single,” you should. Robin in the movie uses a term — dick sand, as in quick sand but with boys — pointing out to Alice that she gets lost in whatever relationship she’s in and truly never figured out how to not only be single, but to be OKAY with being single.
12. Don't stop learning.
Read inspirational and educational books. You were forced to read your whole life… for school of course. Now that you have graduated from high school and college, it is time to educate yourself. Read inspirational books that will help you grow mentally and intellectually. If you hate reading, get audio books or listen to inspirational podcasts.
13. Learn to love yourself.
Build a Back Bone. Always love yourself more than anyone else. One of the hardest things to do. When you fall in love, women tend to lose themselves in the relationship because they end up loving their partner more than themselves. One of the best advices my friend Joo Flood gave me was when she told me, “You need to love yourself. I have been with my husband for 15 years and my husband always tell me that you need to learn how to take care of yourself, by yourself. I may be here today, but nobody knows what will happen tomorrow. If I am not here, you need to be able to survive, without me.” It taught me that I need to be independent and no matter who I am with, I will always love myself more than anyone else.
14. Stay Fit & Fabulous.
Always take care of yourself. You always feel better when you are fit and fabulous. After being in a relationship for a year or so, people start to stop caring about the way they look around their partners. When you’re married, it probably gets worse (hopefully not). Remember that men are visual creatures. He fell in love with you because of your personality, but also your looks. Yes, you should find someone who loves you for who you are, but don’t let yourself go by wearing NO makeup and baggy t-shirts. As Coco Chanel would say,“A girl should be two things: Classy and Fabulous” (Even if you are not going out on a date).
15. Dress with dignity.
Dress with Dignity. Rock that bikini girl. I hate to break it down to you, but your twenties are your glory years (for the most of us). It is the time where you rage at clubs until 7am, sleep in on the weekends until 2pm, and drink at the pool for 5 hours straight, and that is perfectly fine. When you have bigger responsibilities, kids, and marriage, your life isn’t going to be the same. So, try on something scandalous, risky and fabulous. Try an outfit that you never thought you could pull off, until now. Embrace the body in your twenties with confidence.
16. Guard your heart.
Trust is not given, it is earned. Yes, you can give your friends and partners the benefit of the doubt. But remember to protect your heart and soul because people will make mistakes. People will tell you what you want to hear, but most importantly, observe their actions.
17. No. don't work hard, play harder.
Work Smarter, not harder. People are always enthralled by the notion, “If you work hard, you will be successful or if you are smart, you will be successful.” The truth is, yes, you do have to commit to persistence, but also, you have to learn how to be smarter with your time, which means don’t be afraid to spend money. For example, you have to clean your apartment and it takes you two hours. Or you can pay someone to clean your apartment for $75.00. That means, you have two hours of your 16-hour (24 hours – 8 hours of sleep) that is freed up for you. During that time period, you can find a way to make $100 an hour by finding a part-time job or thinking of your next business venture. Time is money. How much is your time worth?
18. Are we there yet?
Be patient. This is probably one of the biggest challenges that everyone faces in their twenties and maybe for eternity. When you were 5 years old, you probably told yourself, “I will be successful in my twenties.” Maybe you’ll say to yourself, “I will have 1 million dollars before I am 30 years old.” But the reality is that things take time. You graduated from college… You may be working for your first company (second or third), and you still have NO idea what you want to exactly do besides watch the clock on Thursdays and Fridays until you get off work and chill with your friends during happy hour. The key to being successful (depending on what you believe is success) is visualization. Set three big accomplishments you want to achieve in the twenty years, and then set yearly small goals that will help you get to where you want to be. Write it down and make sure you can read it occasionally. You will be surprised how the mind works. When you believe, it happens.
19. Financial habits will affect you.
Have an emergency fund. Build good financial habits. My friend Olivia Keys who is an intelligent (and attractive) financial advisor once told me, “You need three bank accounts: 1. Your Fun Money Account where you splurge on things like shopping, dining out, and adventures. 2. Your Monthly Bills Account: Put the same amount, every month and that is for all of your monthly bills (we love being adults, don’t we?) 3. Your Emergency Savings (Because accidents happen). Divide your income every month to make sure you have enough money in all of your accounts. Bob Proctor also says, “The key to success is having multiple sources of income.”
20. Booty-call? NOT.
If you like him, don’t respond to him after 12:00am. Especially when you are drunk. Because the only thing that would lead to is a Booty Call (Unless it’s your boyfriend, or pretty close to it). It is common for twenty-something year olds to have one night stands, booty calls, and friends with benefits. But the reality is, if you really like this guy and he’s calling you at 3am on a Friday or Saturday night, DO NOT PICK UP or TEXT BACK. Call him or text him back saying, “Sorry, but I don’t pick up or text guys after 12:00am and I don’t like drunk texting or calling either (even though you know you want to).” You may end up saying or doing something you may regret later on. It shows guys that you respect yourself and you are a classy lady.
21. Don't Stop.
Rather than avoiding the risk of trying, avoid the risk of not trying. If you fail once doesn’t mean you will fail again. Pick yourself back up and keep trying. Twenties are the times where people make a plethora of mistakes and that is completely ok. However, don’t get discouraged because something didn’t work out the first time. Albert Einstein said, “I have tried 99 times and have failed, but on the 100th time came success.” So, follow your passion, not the money. Because money will come, I promise.